Det er hårdt at være hjemmegående

Jeg sidder og drikker kaffe, ser De Unge Mødre og spiser franske vafler i smug, mens det ene barn leger med vand/mudder (det er kakao, mor!) og det andet sover.

Nå, nu kom Valde ind. Det bedste ved HBO er, at man kan se Brandmand Sam uden at skulle se YouTube-reklamer. Det kan godt være jeg har droppet sukkerpolitikken (Eva spiste en hel is i går), og lader Valde se Gurli gris 2 timer om dagen, men jeg har altså stadig principper! Mine børn skal ikke se YouTube (pludselig finder de sikkert en video af Saddam Hussein der bliver henrettet), og de skal ikke spille spil på iPad eller telefonen. Lad os se hvor længe det holder.

Det er løgn. Dagen efter jeg havde skrevet ovenstående, fik Eva lov til at se YouTube. Det har taget mig tre dage at skrive dette indlæg.

Så igår, ikk’, der ville jeg have skrevet: “min mor kommer på besøg i dag, og jeg burde gøre rent, men det gider jeg ikke, jeg vil bare se serie (ny sæson af Handmaid’s Tale)!” – total anarkist. Det gjorde jeg også, men jeg skulle først lige rydde op i soveværelset, støvsuge hele overetagen, gøre toilettet rent, bære vasketøj ned i kælderen, sortere vasketøj, vaske tøj, pille tørt tøj ned, hænge tøj op, rydde op i køkkenet, rydde op i affaldet (det der skal på genbrugspladsen) osv. #dygtighusmoder

Så satte jeg mig i sofaen sagde jeg til mig selv: “Nu bliver du siddende indtil du har drukket din kaffe færdig!”, og heldigvis sov barnet så længe, at jeg kunne nå at se et afsnit færdigt. Jeg havde det ikke helt godt med, at gulvene i køkkenet var beskidte, men det var der ikke noget at gøre ved. Nu lyder det som om jeg er rengørings-freak, hvilket jeg slet ikke er, men før min mor kommer på besøg, ændrer jeg personlighed.

Jeg er kendt for at være lettere naiv. Før jeg opnåede min status som hjemmegående mor til to, havde jeg en forestilling om at det hele skulle være åh-så-hyggeligt. Jeg kedede mig med kun et enkelt barn hjemme, og ville have kam til mit hår, som man siger. Det fik jeg i den grad, og en masse grå hår oveni.

Før jeg sendte Valde i børnehave for tre uger siden, havde jeg også nogle forestillinger om, hvad jeg skulle lave når jeg kun skulle have et barn hjemme: gå en lang tur i skoven hver dag, spille orgel, holde hjemmet rent og pænt, træne, lave yoga, forberede børnekirke i god tid, lære at spille guitar, læse bøger (ej ok, det var en joke), se serier.

Hvad har jeg brugt min hidtil sparsomme fritid på? At rydde op og gøre rent. Har været i skoven en enkelt gang og i legestue to gange. Jeg havde glædet mig til at kunne fordybe mig i mit frivillige arbejde (børnekirke), men nu sidder jeg igen og forbereder det to dage før, og føler mig stresset over det. Og så begynder tankerne.. hvordan kan jeg være stresset over at jeg skal præstere noget én gang om måneden, når alle andre kan have både fuldtidsarbejde og børn ved siden af?!

Det ser så nemt ud udefra. Men hvem ved hvad der foregår i deres hoved? Hvem ved hvordan det føles i deres krop? Ønsker man at være dem? Nej, ellers tak, jeg har det lige så godt her udenfor hamsterhjulet.

Jeg glemte at skrive om mit nytårsforsæt her på bloggen, men det lyder: “I år 2018 vil jeg nyde livet sammen med mine børn (og Lassefar, selvfølgelig) – intet andet”. Det husker jeg mig selv på, når jeg dagdrømmer om et pænere CV og klassekammerater/kolleger. At nyde livet er det eneste jeg skal nå i år, og så vil jeg forsøge og nyde, at jeg har så få forpligtelser, som jeg har. Jeg ved godt det ikke er en holdbar løsning at blive forsørget af kommunen (tilskud til pasning), men jeg vil nyde mit arbejdsfri liv så længe jeg kan. Når jeg bliver træt af det, finder jeg på noget andet.

Mit liv har været en hæsblæsende rejse hertil, og nu vil jeg for første gang nogensinde prøve at være her, hvor jeg er, uden at sidde og vente på det næste kapitel.

Nå ja, hvad med overskriften, hvorfor er det hårdt at være hjemmegående med børn? Fordi de har brug for at blive socialiseret, og så skal man også selv være social (man skal ikke, men det er meget oplagt). Da jeg havde begge børn hjemme, var der sjældent et roligt øjeblik i løbet af en dag, men i løbet af de sidste tre uger med kun et barn hjemme, har jeg virkelig nydt roen. Og i tirsdags tog vi så i legestue, hvor der var virkelig mange børn og meget larm, og jeg kunne næsten ikke holde det ud. Der blev jeg mindet om, at jeg egentligt har det ret godt med min “ensomhed” herude i stilheden langt ude på landet.

112 thoughts on “Det er hårdt at være hjemmegående”

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