Livet til søs

I dag tog jeg Valde med på en spontan cykeltur. Vi tog stien mod Klampenborg og endte ved Rungsted Havn. I går hang vi ud med en af de lokale imamer i Kokkedal downtown, og spiste falafel fra Halal-slagteren i aftensolen. I dag spiste vi is side om side med overklassen i Rungsted. Bare kald mig multikulturel!

havnen

Valde var vild med at kigge på sejlbåde, og det er jeg også. Faktisk har jeg altid drømt om at få en båd engang. Jeg var på min første sejltur som ca. 2-årig i min farmor og farfars Spækhugger, “Søline”. De havde havneplads i Kolding, så turene gik ofte til Middelfart eller Skærbæk (den Skærbæk lige ved siden af Kolding). Min allerførste sejltur har nok været rimelig kort. Men min fætter og jeg var ikke ret gamle, før vi fik lov til at drage på 3 ugers sommerferie med Søline. Senere kom vores yngre søskende til, og en lang årrække havde vores farmor og farfar 4 unger og en hund med på en lillebitte båd hver eneste sommer. At de havde overskuddet til det, beundrer jeg nu, efter jeg selv er blevet mor. De tog os da også bare lige med under armen på en uges skiferie i Norge hvert år.

Dette er et lånt billede. Jeg mener Søline var samme model som den her.
Dette er et lånt billede. Jeg mener Søline var samme størrelse som den her.

Jeg lyver ikke, når jeg siger, at jeg nok har haft nogle af mit livs bedste oplevelser på de ferier, og hvis det ikke var for Søline, havde jeg nok ikke fået set så stor en del af det danske øhav, som jeg har. Bare hele stemningen; duften af hav, “det hemmelige rum” med øl bag roret,  farmors uudtømmelige slikdåse, krabbefiskeri, havnefestivaler, cykelture, softice, ture i gummibåden, galleribesøg, at sove oppe i “spidsen”, omrejsende tivolier, nye legekammerater, petroleumslugten i næsen om morgenen, farfars koncentrerede blik når han læste søkort, duften af våd hund, farmors evigt gode humør, og hofretten: dåsebøf med pulverkartoffelmos og ristede løg!

hakkebøf

Hold. nu. op. hvor vil jeg gerne give mine børn bare en brøkdel af alle de (natur)oplevelser, vores farmor og farfar har givet os. Med eller uden båd! Nogle gange kan jeg sidde og blive lidt bitter over, at jeg føler mig destineret til at være en fattigrøv for evigt, og aldrig komme til at eje hverken hus, bil eller båd. Ikke at det er vigtigt at eje det i sig selv. Det er de muligheder, der følger med, jeg gerne vil have. Jeg har altid selv været den, der har sagt, at man ikke bliver lykkelig af at have penge, og at det kun gør en mere ufri. Jo, man kan sagtens være ligeså lykkelig med få penge, det kommer ikke an på det – men du skal ikke prøve at bilde mig ind, at “rig” og “fattig” har lige mange muligheder, for det har de altså ikke. Ikke engang i Danmark.

Men alligevel er det ved at gå op for mig, at bare fordi man ikke har midlerne, kan man måske stadig godt få (nogle af) mulighederne. Se mig, jeg ser mulighederne frem for begrænsningerne, for en gangs skyld! Man kan jo sagtens komme på sejltur uden at have en båd selv, man skal bare finde nogen der har, så det vil jeg gøre! Det har været en drøm for mig i mange år, og jeg fatter ikke hvorfor jeg ikke har gjort noget aktivt for at det skulle ske endnu. Men sådan er jeg åbenbart bare. Jeg har jo så mange drømme, og de kan ikke alle gå i opfyldelse, så jeg må hellere droppe dem. Sådan tænker jeg seriøst for det meste. Men det samme gælder på det mentale plan: man kan godt hægte sig på nogen, der bare har en tand mere overskud. Nogle der er et skridt foran. Nej, jeg gider ikke tænke på, at jeg måske trækker dem ned. Det gør jeg ikke, for de er stærke nok til at stå fast på sig selv. Engang hadede jeg nærmest “glade” mennesker. Men ikke mere. Nu er det tid til at tage imod alt det, livet vil give mig.

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